


Barney/Ted Drabbles

by dreamsofspike



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-24 11:21:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9722069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsofspike/pseuds/dreamsofspike
Summary: A collection of drabbles for the pairing Barney/Ted from How I Met Your Mother.Warnings: abuse, dub-con, non-con, bondage, violence





	1. Want to See My Magic Wand?

"You actually _said_ that?"  
  
"Well, she _was_ dressed like a witch..."  
  
"It's a Halloween party. She came here to have fun getting dressed up in a sexy costume and, well.. _partying_... not to be subjected to your cheesy lines..."  
  
"It's not cheesy..."  
  
" _Come on_! 'Wanna see my magic wand?' _Seriously_?"  
  
"It was appropriate to her costume..."  
  
"You weren't even trying!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Wait... you _weren't_ trying, were you?"  
  
"*shrugs* She's not that hot. But she's hot enough for _you_..."  
  
"What...?"  
  
"I got her all warmed up for you, thinking right this second about how there's nothing but jerks at this party, and all men are pigs, etc., etc... which means that when you go up and talk to her now, she won't see you as such a loser. She'll see you as a nice, genuine, sweet guy in comparison to me... and you'll actually have a shot at getting into her pants."  
  
"*sigh* Just when I start to think that maybe there's something resembling a decent human being buried somewhere deep inside you..."


	2. Accident

“There’s been an accident…”  
  
The words of the stranger on the phone faded into meaningless noise, as Ted stared into space, trying to process the words already spoken – the only words that mattered. He instinctively knew, though the woman on the phone couldn’t have known to tell him.  
  
 _He was trying to get here… trying to get to me…_  
  
In that moment, nothing mattered more than their friendship – the friendship he had thrown away over a momentary lapse in judgment. Robin’s question echoed in his mind, and now, he couldn’t think of the answer.  
  
Why _had_ he refused to forgive Barney, when he and Robin were guilty of the same non-existent crime?  
  
All he knew was that it didn’t matter anymore – none of it. Barney could sleep with anyone he wanted, _do_ anything he wanted, if only Ted could have the chance to tell him how wrong he’d been.  
  
 _But… he might die… and I’ll never get the chance to tell him…_  
  
His friends protested with concern as he rose from the bed without explaining what had happened and rushed from the room, knowing only that no matter what the cost, he had to get to his friend and make things right between them.


	3. Falling

Barney’s lost count of the times he’s called Ted, begging him to forgive him. It’s pathetic, really. He knows it. In fact, it’s so far beyond pathetic at this point that there’s really no use in stopping himself from calling again… and again...

 

Ted finally answers, and Barney can tell by the quiet, the lack of background noise… he’s alone.

 

“Fine. You wanna talk, Barney? So do I. Meet me on the roof in half an hour.”

 

Barney tries not to hurry, tries to retain some shred of his dignity… but he knows it’s a lost cause. He wants this… _needs_ this… too badly. He’d never admit it to the others, but he’s slowly falling apart without his best friend.

 

He’s unbearably lonely without Ted.

 

The roof is dark and deserted, but the moon and the lights of the city are bright enough to illuminate the cold smile on Ted’s lips as he nods to acknowledge Barney’s presence. He’s sitting on the ledge surrounding the roof, but he stands as Barney approaches.

 

“I’m _sorry_ ,” Barney immediately bursts out. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, you know that! Ted… please…”

 

“Shut up.”

 

There’s something soft and cold and dangerous in Ted’s voice, and Barney meets his eyes sharply. His stomach tightens at the dark, malicious look in Ted’s eyes. He’s so stunned by the harsh order that he obeys without thinking about it.

 

“I’ve given this a lot of thought, Barney… and I _can_ forgive you. But… you’re going to have to earn it.”

 

Barney frowns, troubled, but more hopeful than disturbed by Ted’s calculated words. “What do you mean?” he asks, sounding more timid than he’d like. “Earn it how?”

 

“You’ll have to prove to me that you’re willing to make it up to me,” Ted clarifies without really clarifying.

 

“I am, Ted,” Barney assures him anyway. “I’ll do anything…”

 

Ted’s lips twitch in a malicious smirk, and Barney instantly knows he’ll end up regretting those words as Ted slowly begins to close the distance between them. He instinctively takes a step backward toward the wall behind him, but Ted smoothly moves into his space, taking his arm and refusing to allow him retreat.

 

“Anything, Barney?” he echoes, dark and dangerous. “Really?”

 

Barney swallows hard, hesitating for a moment before whispering his response, pleading and earnest. “Anything. I swear.”

 

Ted laughs – a quiet, harsh sound of triumph that makes Barney feel as if he’s suddenly fallen from a great height, plunging into a darkness too deep to comprehend. This isn’t his best friend; this isn’t really happening; he isn’t really this desperate and pathetic that he’d willingly walk into… whatever Ted has in mind.

 

Except it is… and _he_ is.

 

“Good.” Ted releases Barney, and he feels a momentary relief, before Ted speaks again in a soft, unyielding voice.

 

“Get on your knees.”

 

Time stands still for a long moment in which Barney’s mind races, weighing the consequences with the possible rewards, his thoughts swirling in a surreal tumult of confusion and desperation and fear and hope.

 

And when that long moment ends and his head clears… Barney silently, obediently sinks to his knees.


	4. Safeword

Barney's wrists twist almost frantically against the ties that bind them to the headboard, and he bites back a thin, high cry of mingled pleasure and pain as Ted's hands move over his body, grasping and harsh and possessive.  
  
It's one of the hottest things he's ever done.  
  
Barney isn't usually willing to give up this much control to his lover, but with Ted... it's different.  
  
Ted's had all the control, all along.  
  
Ted's gradually slows his motions, his touches becoming torturously light and teasing, and Barney lets out a pleading whimper of need.  
  
"Ted... _please_..."  
  
"Shut up," Ted mutters, slapping him in the face harshly. "You speak when I say you can."  
  
It's frightening and disturbing and unbelievably hot -- all part of this game they're playing... this game that gets just a little hotter and a little scarier every time they play.  
  
Once again Barney's safe word plays through his mind, and he considers whether or not he'll have to use it.  
  
He's never tried to use it yet.  
  
Ted's hand closes around his throat, and Barney's eyes widen with alarm as he feels it slowly tightening, squeezing until he can barely draw breath. His arms jerk in a useless spasm that doesn't free him, and Ted smiles coldly into his eyes, enjoying his power.  
  
Barney feels his heart racing as Ted's thumb presses slowly into the hollow of his throat, cutting off his breath completely.  
  
"Please..." Barney can only mouth the words. "Ted... stop... please..."  
  
Ted lets out a low, dark chuckle, letting up his pressure for just a moment before pressing down again, his smile spreading as Barney's eyes widen with panic.  
  
"Ted... no..." Barney gasps out, then finally utters his safe word, desperately, twice. "Robin... _Robin_..."  
  
It's the one word they both know neither of them would ever willingly use while in bed with the other.  
  
But Ted doesn't stop, just lets up long enough to let Barney draw in a desperate gasp before pressing down again, his lips dragging leisurely down the column of Barney's throat, biting slightly before raising his head to meet Barney's eyes again.  
  
"What's that, Barney?" he murmurs with sinister amusement. "Did you say something?"   
  
But before Barney can repeat the safe word, he's choking him again, his mouth already drifting lower once more, taking full advantage of his power.  
  
Barney's not sure he's going to survive this terrifying, helpless encounter -- but he does.  
  
"You're mine," Ted whispers in his ear as he quietly sobs with relief, one hand cupping his cheek possessively and holding his head in place. "And I'll do whatever the hell I want to do with you. Understand?"  
  
Barney can only nod helplessly, because he knows it's the truth.  
  
Ted won't respect his limits, will take whatever he pleases without regard for Barney's wishes -- and Barney needs him so badly that he'll let him, every time.


	5. Statistics

"Marriage is for losers. And that's not just a figure of speech. Literally, _losers_. And you wanna know why?"  
  
"Not particularly. But you're going to tell me anyway, aren't you?"  
  
"Of course. The reason why marriage is really and truly for losers is because most marriages _lose_. Did you know that 81% of all marriages performed in the year 2000 have already ended in divorce?"  
  
"Did you know that 49% of statistics are completely made up? And 95% percent of the people who make them up are creepy little no-life freaks with nothing better to do?"  
  
"It's actually more like 75%... on _both_ counts. And... Ha. Ha. Marriage is still for losers. Exhibit B -- you."


	6. Brain Damage

It’s barely past noon, and already Ted’s had to clean up a full bowl of breakfast cereal off the floor – twice – had to help Barney change his clothes both times as well, since the cereal spill wasn’t confined to the floor – and had to call the neighbors once to reassure them that no one was in fact being murdered in the apartment next door.  
  
Of course, most of them are used to the random, intermittent screaming by now.  
  
There is no screaming now, as Barney has been awake for hours – though he might as well still be asleep. He’s oblivious to everything around him, staring blankly at the wall as Ted tries to take advantage of the quiet and focus on his work.  
  
All he can think about is wondering what nightmares fill Barney’s dreams to cause the piercing screaming fits that wake him every morning.  
  
It’s not as if Barney can tell him – not as if he can speak at all, anymore.  
  
Ted can feel his eyes on his back, now, however – knows the unspoken words he sees, pleading forth from Barney’s gaze every time their eyes meet.  
  
 _I’m sorry… please, Ted… I’m so sorry…_  
  
Ted forgave Barney a long time ago. He forgave him the moment he heard about the bus crash, and found himself immediately praying that Barney was all right – all the hurt and pain between them forgotten in an instant. None of it matters to him anymore. He’s forgiven Barney completely – as he tells him every night while putting him to bed.  
  
He just wishes that Barney’s mind was not so damaged that he can no longer comprehend the words.


End file.
